He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
