Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
