Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
