At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
