maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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