My nipple is on Facebook.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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