i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
