Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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