Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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