I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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