whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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