he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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