It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
