Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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