I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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