My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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