I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
