shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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