Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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