I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
