He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize