im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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