its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
my poor anus
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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