The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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