Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
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