OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
