Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
