gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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