omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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