Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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