let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
