Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
