So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
