smell my finger.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
