I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
