Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
