I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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