Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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