this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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