I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We need a shit load of segways right now
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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