Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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