I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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