On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
