She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
