Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
