What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
