with your own penis?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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