just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
