there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
