I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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