So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
