Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just high enough for therapy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
