you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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