I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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