I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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