I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My dick has a subreddit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
