I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
