So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
