you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
