JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i believe in u and ur pee
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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