Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
