We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
