Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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