Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize