dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
