I think I am morally bankrupt
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
