i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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