R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
