do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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