It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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